This dude just called me a pussy for putting a band-aid on my scraped knee. Talk...– @MattMelvin (via mattmelvin)
Just gonna sit back, relax, and listen to George Carlin.
Nobody visits the antique photo booth at amusement parks anymore. Thanks a lot,...– @MattMelvin (via mattmelvin)
This is pretty tight butthole!
Holy crap I’m back from camping. It was awesome. Ok, back to reblogging and stuff.
I often get misdialed calls to my phone from some Mexican lady. Irritating,...– (via mattmelvin)
imthedad: fact: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
sofapizza: videohall: The Power of Pine-Sol cower before it.